Today I decide to catch New Moon on its premiere day. Exciting, but not really 'new'.
Today I decide to catch New Moon on its premiere day dressed as a vampire. I asked my aforementioned flamboyant friend if I could borrow some pasty pancake that he uses for the stage, but he tells me it's all nasty after Halloween abuse. Pointed me toward a good source and I was away.
Problem 1: Yesterday was Fake Tan Day. My skin doesn't look sunkissed - it looks like it had a naughty weekend with half the solar system. I decide to slather on the sparkly stuff to direct attention away from skin that looks anything but undead - except maybe if you're from Florida. Do they have undead in Florida? Don't answer that ...
Problem 2: I pre-booked tickets for a 10am show. That means I have to drop Master Three at kindy dressed like a vampire. No one invites me home for tea and bickies. A small Asian girl stares at me and her bottom lip begins to tremble. I look over my shoulder. It can't possibly be me. I left my teeth in the car.
Made it to the show on time. I take in the demographic and my stomach clenches. I wasn't exactly mutton dressed as lamb - I was more like mutton dresses as lamb that's been buried for a week, crawled out of its grave, donned a frothy Dannii Minogue number and gone to the movies.
That said, the Dannii shirt was perfect. It's black with ruffles and frills and elastic in weird places. Looks great once you figure out which bit goes over your head.
My friend and I scan the theatre for undercover detectives. They had to be there somewhere, looking for cougars to arrest when they make unsavory noises at the shirtless and totally buff bits of boy candy on screen. A-hem.
Movie ends and the room erupts in a chorus of 'You've got to be kidding!s' and 'What?! Is that it?'s. Everyone hates a cliffhanger - especially when you've got to wait a year before the next one. I mean, the suspense! In twelve months will Jacob be able to see over his mighty pecs? Get a job so he can afford a proper T-shirt?
Will Buffy slay Edward?
A lot can happen in a year, believe me.
Conclusion: Operation Attend a Premiere Dressed Like a Deranged Fan is a success.
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Madness!! Were there other people there dressed up? It is the whole fancy dress thing that freaks me out. What if no one came dressed up. We've all been there.
ReplyDeleteDamn funny, yet again. I'm actually enjoying my day. Yay
Nup. I was the only one. I'm sure it would've been different had I gone to the midnight screening, but that would entail far more planning than I'm accustomed to. And that lovely cab-merlot would have been oh-so-lonely without me. Priorities, priorities ...
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