Challenge 13 - Modern Art Appreciation Day

I always figured 'modern art' was what my kids brought home from pre-school. Time to dispel those myths and broaden my horizons!

Catch train to city. Choose seat amongst Gothic piercing convention and avoid eye contact. Feel something wet seeping through pants and choose not to investigate further. Very decisive so far.

Arrive at museum. I avoid walking under a life-size blue whale making croon-ey whale sounds. Hippie sits on concrete floor under whale, head bowed in concentration. Is he not afraid of whale falling on head??

Arrive at gallery. Man at Information Desk informs me most of the gallery is shut down for installation of new art. I tell him that's fine - for all I know about modern art the lumpy white ceiling could be part of the display, har har. Info man doesn't laugh.

Go in search of something to gaze thoughtfully at. Picture of fruit in a bowl. Food Photography! I'm getting the hang of this.

Ooh! Sparkles! Shiny thing the size of my living room hung on wall. Looks like my mother's mumu from the 70s. Go closer to investigate texture. Security guard stares - probably facinated by size of thumb bandage. I move upstairs.

See ceiling from above. Thousands of bits of A4 paper attached with bulldog clips. Damn! It was art. That being the most interesting thing on display I go back in search of hippie. Want to warn him about whale falling on head.

No hippie - just a gaggle of Japanese tourists photographing gallery #2s's electric door. Could it, too, be art? Have so much to learn! Go into gallery #2 for a look.

Rather fancy the Buddha bust. Definitely art - can tell by goldfish on head.

See catatonic guard sitting in corner. Ask if he ever gets bored. 'Sometimes,' he says. Ever been photographed? 'Yes. When I was in the lift.' Were they Japanese by any chance? 'Actually they were,' he says. Ha! On strength of that I feel safe to assume door is not art, is in fact door.

All the chairs in this place are basic padded boxes. Go into another room and see two lines of wooden chairs in centre. Are they really chairs? Can I sit on them? Feel stupid to have to ask the question but have been caught out once already today. Perplexed guard indicates chairs are in fact chairs. Well, there you go.

Two rooms away I see four chairs fixed to a wall. See?! They have Chair Art! There are dark powers at work today, no doubt about it.

Conclusion: Out of what I've seen today some pieces were unspeakably ugly. Some pointless, some funny. A few were intelligent and engaging (particularly the Brett Whiteley stuff which reminded me of my brother - need to think further on that). Some of it was just plain confounding.

So I've pretty much decided Modern Art is no different from anything else in life. Everybody's opinion is valid if they have taken time to investigate.

Resolve to give Modern Art more of my attention.