Challenge 11 - Vengeful Duck

Thumb has gone a weird colour, smells like a wet dog and has no feeling. Could it be ... gangrene?!

My excellent approach to wound care is paying dividends. Can't go to doctor now as have very important interview for pre-prep next year. Been on the waiting list for donkey's and can't afford to lose place.

Decide to call cousin who is health professional. No answer. Next best thing: look up 'gangrene' in The Home Guide To Medical Illnesses. (Wonder what a non-medical illness is?) Ah! Gangrene: Death of tissue caused by gas producing bacteria ... smelly discharge ... fever .. delirium .. death ... Death???

Feel nauseous. Spots of light in vision. Is this a panic attack or the beginning of the end? I have a multi-vitamin and engage yogic breathing.

Onward!

At interview I can't concentrate. Can she smell my thumb? Is flesh eating bacteria grounds for denial? Can I appeal on medical grounds?

After interview I drive immediately to doctor. Doctor looks at thumb and asks how it happened. 'It was a duck,' I reply. 'Mmmm. Poultry,' he says and shakes his head gravely. It's antibiotics and tetanus shot time for Lee.

At Pathology the nurse asks what happened. 'It was a duck,' I reply. As an afterthought I add, 'Bastard.' 'You were attacked?' she asks. 'Other way round,' I say.

So far it's Duck 2, Lee nil. Nurse administers shot. Another nurse comes in. 'You gave her the wrong one,' he says.

Lucky me - I get Whooping Cough for free. Duck 3, Lee nil.

'Side affects?' I ask. 'Sore arm and fever up to 49 degrees,' he says. What?? 'Sorry - 39.' Who are these people? At any moment I expect John Cleese to walk in, snap on a pair of gloves and tell me to bend over.

I escape as fast as I can. The day can't possibly get any worse. Master Three sees balloons at a World Vision stall.

Perfect! Decide to buy Smiles gift card for starving children in Africa. Gangrene and a World Vision donation? That's two new things in one day!

'What would you like?' asks blonde with nice teeth. I rummage through my purse in search of funds. Duck has almost cleaned me out. 'Nothing too big,' I say.

'How about a duck?' she says.

A what? 'Sod that,' I say. ' ... Got any chickens?'