Challenge 17 - Hallelujah, It's Raining Frogs

Thirty-one frogs.

Can count those. Counting children at kindy, however is like counting blowflies in bottle. The din like an F111 taking off. And the fear ... oh the fear ...

Thought Scout Camp would prepare me for dealing with group-frenzy situation. The sheer terror of all those beady little eyes looking to you for love and guidance. Well, maybe not love. Or guidance, for that matter.

Looking at you for non-threatening contact and lawful discipline ...

Semantics aside, I couldn't believe how nervous I was this morning. It was like an oral exam at uni or giving a speech at a work conference. Had I prepared well enough? Did I need to explain the history of origami? Do I need a map with Japan on it? If I tell them paper was invented 2000 years ago do I need to explain what a year is? Argh!

Showed them some pictures. 'I can't see!' shouts little girl. Move book. 'I can't see!' shouts little boy. Forget book. Start folding. For the love of God start folding.

'Anyone know what this is?' I ask. 'A paper plane!' they shout. They always shout. 'Yes,' I say. 'That's how we Caucasian folk make a paper plane. Now look at this one.' I hold up another plane. Silence. Decide to abandon words with too many claps. 'This is what an origami paper plane looks like. Which one will go better?'

'That one That one!' they all shout, pointing at the Caucasian plane. Ha! I know the answer and they don't. Feel superior for first time that day.

Throw first plane. Nose dives into foot. Throw second plane. Soars gracefully around room and into far wall. Children squeal with delight. I'm on a winner!

'This is how you make a hopping frog,' I say and start folding. 'I can't see!' miscellaneous child shouts. I lean forward. 'I can't see!' shouts another. Desk is shin height so now I'm on knees leaning with arms fully extended. Frog doesn't look quite right.

Frog fails to hop.

'Look!' I say. 'I made a frog for each of you.' Meaning: Love me and my awesome effort to amuse you on my precious day off. Or else.

'I want a dinosaur!' shouts little boy. He's trouble. Can see it in his eyes. Shifty ...

'I want a crab!' shouts another.

First boy scrunches frog and drops onto floor. I show lots of teeth. It could be a smile - they'd never know the difference.

Calm thoughts ... calm thoughts ... I am a leaf on the wind ...

At home partner suggests I'm well-suited to being a clown for children's parties. Don't they all feel the same way?

Conclusion: Glad I didn't do balloon animals. Small mercies ... small mercies ....