Since visiting the Gallery of Modern Art, arty stuff has been on my mind. Particularly the kind of art that people are subjected to against their will.
Yes folks, I'm talking about Public Art.
Who are these people? Who decides that the four blue triangles with bowling balls on top are enriching our collective souls? Why is public art (for the most part) sterile, pointless and inaccessible to said public? And don't even ask how much this stuff costs.
Today's Challenge: Design and install an accessible, aesthetically pleasing piece of art in a public place. For free (and preferably lawfully).
I choose a playground. Doesn't get much more public than that.
Assemble tools: Pair of old trousers and a three foot long piece of dowel. Arrive at playground. Kid's birthday party in full swing ... can cope, so long as they don't toucha-da-art. Or want to use the playground within fifteen foot radius of where I'm standing. Should be easy - I have big stick.
Miss Eight tries to steal stick. Put foot on stick and growl. My stick. Operation Public Art begins!
Parents suspicious about stick. Decide to be discreet.
'My Mother the Artist,' shouts Miss Eight from the top of the pirate ship, 'is about to perform a miracle.'
A: Am not artist. B: Don't believe in miracles - believe in occasional confluences of fortunate events.
It's none for none today, however you say it.
Everyone stares. I'm bare foot up to my ankles in leaf litter, holding big stick in one hand and trousers in the other. Hat not large enough to conceal body.
'I'm blind,' I say to the man nearest me. Man looks skeptical.
I use trousers to clear leaf litter, then begin. Idea is to create an ethereal reflection of a fig tree. Must work fast because earth dries quickly in summer and loses discernible contours.
Aesthetically Pleasing Public Art finished! Not really accessible, though ...
'She's very clever,' says lady.
Another pulls her child close. 'Stay away from people with sticks,' she says. 'People with sticks are dangerous.'
'Come on, kids!' I shout. 'Who wants to destroy some art?' Kids stomp and jump all over art. Squeal with the delight of little people who are allowed to do something they know is just that little bit naughty.
Satisfaction. Art now officially Accessible as well.
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