Challenge 27 - Power Tools

After days trying to sand my chair by hand with 240 grit sandpaper I decide to defer to Partner's suggestion and bring in modern technology.

Go to 1st birthday party of friend's son. Give present, kiss baby, ask to borrow sander.

Men pause. Air thickens. Silently they rise and march to Inner Sanctum (i.e. shed) without me. Tool borrowing is serious business. Tool borrowing involves treaties, trade agreements and conventions no woman is privy to. Men are in there a long time. Have I asked too much? Did I push too hard ...? Partner appears holding sander like newborn child. Success!

Partner observes me sanding chair by hand. 'That's 80 grit,' he says. 'You'll leave grooves in the wood.'

I ignore.

'You going to use the sander? Doing it like that? Well, it's kind of a waste of life.'

I don't tell Partner I am having a bad day - so bad in fact that sanding the bloody chair by hand was the best thing about it; meditative in fact, like watering 1/2 acre of lawn by hand. (Am very Zen when upset.)

Partner gets out sander and does technical stuff. Holds it out to me. 'Don't think you can hurt yourself with that.'

Has this guy met me? I take sander like it's a snake. Examine closely. Sandpaper is 80 grit. Ha! Start sanding. Great clouds of old varnish, wood and goodness knows what (is that peanut butter??) float around me like a toxic cloud. Hand begins to ache. And back. And neck.

Manage to run sander over thumb. Is okay - haven't had any feeling in top of thumb since run-in with Vengeful Duck. Bastard! Now have Legacy of Vengeful Duck!

Grit in eyes, up nose, down shirt, in hair. Decide sanding more enjoyable with Champagne. Alcohol steadies the hand, right? That's why professional pool players are banned from a soothing larger before tourney. Decide logic is sound. Pour, drink, sand. Second glass and chair looks good.

Turn chair over. Seat falls off. Have Champagne.

Strangely no longer concerned by lack of seat on chair. I can fix that. I can fix anything!

Time to down tools. Am leaving for holiday tomorrow and need to pick. I mean pack. Shall finish chair and begin on table when I return.

Final Note: Am 'going bush' for three weeks - no internet, no mobile phone coverage. Just three weeks of swimming, eating, cooking and laughing at the stars. Ripe pickings for New Challenges! Especially since Little Brother has new pets: tarantulas called Incey and Wincey. Little Brother also has sense of humour. Did I mention I don't do spiders?

Anyhow, shall try to Post whenever we 'go to town'.

Wish me luck with the spiders!