Challenge 31 - The Table

Wake up with burst of energy. Today I shall conquer The Table!

Buy varnish at hardware store. Feel like a bona fide tradie



(that's a 'tradesman', for those who require US translation). Buy 3 giant paint brushes for applying said varnish. 'They're a bit big, aren't they?' says concerned shop guy. 'Nope,' I reply. 'I figure the bigger they are the less painting I have to do.' 'Gee,' he says. 'Never thought of it that way ...'

I take home manly wares. Partner looks at varnish. 'That stuff's toxic,' he says. 'Off-gasses for years.'

Darn! That stuff cost me thirty bucks! I look for receipt. No receipt. Hide tin from Partner and head back to hardware store. Vague recollections of carpenter friend using orange oil on his wood. Find some and ring it up ($20). Also buy roll of sandpaper ($12). This table is getting expensive ...

Take BEFORE pic of table. It's where the kids do pretty much everything - gluing, painting eating, plotting destruction of the world - so it's in bad shape. Use sander for a while and give up. Table is lumpy so sanding is too patchy to be useful. Have lightbulb moment and change sandpaper. Is a bit better, so I alternate between sanding by hand and using evil machine. Take DURING pic.

It's 70% humidity today and 33 degrees C. Partner ferries me glasses of water on regular basis. Sawdust forming archaeologically significant layers on my skin. Master Three thinks I look like Casper the friendly ghost. Much more of this and it'll be Casper the homicidal ghost.

Finish table.

Give orange oil a test run on coffee table. Table is the lid off a French wine barrel and is about as healthy as the big table (for similar reasons). Check out the difference! And that's without any sanding. So excited I wipe down every wooden surface in the kitchen and lounge room. Wood sparkles with renewed vigour. I feel like the Fairy Godmother of Wood, then change name to Fairy Godmother of Nice Finishes to avoid misinterpretation.

Oil table. Take AFTER pic.

Huzzah!! It's a thing of beauty. Put Chair I Prepared Earlier beside it and bask in the glory of my success.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Five other chairs looking a bit sad in comparison. What to do?